Thursday, October 15, 2009

...notes for tonight....xL

FEARLESS...
and I guess I'd like to clarify why I choose that as word 4 tonight.
To me FEARLESS is not the absence of fear.
It's not being completely unafraid.

To me FEARLESS is having fears.
FEARLESS is having doubts...Lots of them.
To me FEARLESS is living in spite of those things that scare you to death.
FEARLESS is falling madly in love again, even though you've been hurt before.

FEARLESS is walking into your freshmen year of high school at fifteen.
FEARLESS is getting back up and fighting for what you want over and over again...
even though every time you've tried before, you've lost.
It's FEARLESS you have faith that someday things will change.
FEARLESS is having the courage to say goodbye to someone who only hurts you...
...even if you can't breath without them.

I think it's FEARLESS to fall for your best friend,even though he's in love someone else.
And when someone apologizes to you enough times for things they'll never stop doing...
I think it's FEARLESS to stop believing them.
It's FEARLESS to say "you're NOT sorry", and walk away.
I think loving someone despite what people think is on and being alright...
...that's FEARLESS too.

But no matter what love throws at you, you have to believe in it.
You have to believe in love stories and prince charming and happily ever after. That's why I write these msg. Because I think Love is FEARLESS.

and i know it's real....gudnite...xL

Saturday, October 10, 2009

5.22 in the morning...

...yes...it's 5.22 in the morning and i still can't sleep. I came home at 430am today. Home alone again as my housemate hang out with her boyfriend. Lucky her...



I was really tense today..I couldn't erase Labs' hurting words in my mind. I'm trying my level best to ignore it but I just can't. Maybe, I cannot accept the fact that someone who I thought I can rely on have hurted me so badly...(sigh) :(



I met one of my old friend in Puchong. We had our dinner at one of the famous karaoke spot here in Klang Valley. After the fine dinner, we release our stress by singing lot of songs. I guess singing is the best way to express your pressure...you can shout as loud as u can! that's the best part ;)



Around 1150pm, we went out from the karaoke centre to the durian stall. We stopped by and had some durians :) It was nice. Funny incident happend while we were enjoying our durians...the chinese boy sing a Malay song with chinese accent and he was singing through his cell phone...I guess it was his girlfriend listening to him...hihihi...silly...but yet touching i guess...haha...I don't know.. I tapau some durians before we go back cuz it taste sooo good and I just can't resists it ;)



On the way back, I asked my friend "...do u think I'm arrogant?"...and continue.." ... I mean when Im commenting on my boss to you?"...and he said..." no you're not! apparently your boss is te trouble maker. She is the one who doesn't use her common sense to justify situation."...I heard that and i feel better...exactly what Im expecting to say. But the other side of me asking.." is he just pleasing me???"...araghhh....angle Vs demon...who's gonna win my mind



I get my car and drove all the way to Sunway Damansara at 12am just to see my friend Panzi. I picked her up and visited my friend's house for belated deparaya celebration. I know it was kinda silly to visit someone in the middle of the night....but yet it happened that night because my guts to visit my friend was really high....some more, I was hurted and am looking for company to make me feel better.

After having some chicken sate and brief chit chat session, we chow..not straight back home but lepaking at kedai mamak until 4 in the morning....Keep chit chatting with Panzi all night long...

Thank u friend for making me feel better that day....

I almost forgot about what just happend that morning....there are saying "..whatever u said is easily forgotten...but people will always remember how u make them feel...especially when it hurts..."

nite xL

Historical saturday...

Another day has gone...another historical day for me. I will never never forget how a person tear my heard and broke them into pieces. Throwing all bad words to me without even thinking what's the impact on me. It hurts and still hurts now...but thanks anyway my dear so called friend...

I spent my day on the bed, recover back my weekdays... I woke up at almost 1pm..did my laundry and feed my two little lovely babies...cumprang and earl grey. Before I shower, a friend of my visited me. I let him in and treat him nicely. Since i haven't took my breakfast, i boiled a water and make a jug of black coffee. I served for 2...in a mean time, i reheat the pasta I cooked myself last night...and after done, I served for 2...

We talked and have a chit chat. I shared my problems, told him what I've been through in office...with a little hope that he'll give me a good constructive comment and motivating advices. Unfortunately, he put all the blame on me. Saying that It's just me who cannot adapt with new working situation. That is fine...but when he said Im too arrogant and thinks that I know about everything...it killing me because not even once I have that intention...God knew it!

I can't talk to him anymore, so I just leave the table without even listening to his further hurting words. He never stop...and it hurting me so badly. I didn't cry...but deep in my heart...i started to cry. I let him do the talking and hope that he will somehow realize that his description is basically reflected to the person in the mirror...and that himself...

Im wondering...where is the love...;(

LadyX

Friday, August 7, 2009

H1N1

As usual...attending meeting is basically what Im doing everyday. Last thursday, I attended a meeting to discuss about the H1N1 pandemic at MKN,PMO. The meeting was also attended by many stakeholders from govt, private as well as NGO bodies.

The meeting was chaired by the Vice Secretary of MKN Dato Moin. Apparently, the media failed to disseminate an accurate information to the society in a way that instead of educating the society the media is actually frighten them. Thus, the citizen should aware that we are dealing with a serious pandemic disease and we ourselves should play our role and be responsible to stop the spreading.

It's been 3 months...and number of death is increasing...and no drastic action taken from the leading authority...and I'm questioning...does H1N1 is a 'Crisis' or still a 'Mitigation'???? Should MKN wait for another 100 people to die before they start to take over the 'crisis'..... or 'mitigation'???

The Health Ministry as a leading authority come out with this info...
1. WHO has declared H1N1 is a pandemic disease..phase 6
2. India and China has a little death cases compare to Msia...(how they manage to do that???)
3. According to Ministy of Health's Situation Analysis Report....it has been confirmed that there'll be 30% of the Msia's total population infected with the Influenza A H1N1 (which equal to 8 million people) and 0.5% from them will be dying...roughly around 41,000 people.
4. Initially, the spreading of the infuenza will only take 2 months to reach the 30% target...however the Ministry try to slow down the time frame...maybe 1 year...or 1 year 2 month...No accurate time frame can be decided at this moment.
5. The Influenza outbreak will be continuing until next year...June 2010...or July 2010..or maybe Dec 2011...
6. If you are now infected with H1N1...you will never infected by the virus again. However...Influeza A begin from 1 to 16...which means...you might be infected to H2N3...H3N4...H4N5...and the influenza goes on.... kwang3...
7. The virus and live on any surfaces and in the air within 8 hours...thats why it is important to clean up any kotor2..
8. The Influenza can be transmitted to the others within 1 metre distance.
9. Last but not least...wash your hand, keep a clean environment, disinfect all dirty, stay away from crowd, if you coughing..put on ur mask and never ever take it off...(please be concern about the others)...it doesnt matter whether it's just a normal coughing...you still have to be responsible to the other people.
10. Prevention is better than cure..but this virus has no cure yet la...If kena juga...then pray a lot.
11. Worse case scenario...those who died from H1N1 will be burried just like people with HIV AIDS...
I'm personally think that MKN should take over the probem from now on. PM always said 'Action Now!!!"...so just follow it! The true sense of urgency is crucially needed here. Msia is dealing with a serious problem and apparently it's time to be flexible and forget about the complicated and time consuming procedures.