4th April 2011...I'll never forget this date. Moment of unforgiveable action and decision. I wish I knew that this small could affect my life so much. I woke up this morning and straigt login to my FB just to see my friends around. I usally dont really read people's notes...but i have somekind of desire of clicking CM's notes about..Before I Was A Mom...It's meant for her mom and for herself I guess. But it touches me so deep...and it makes me cry this morning..It's not that I wanna cry..but it's jst happend. I read it, and my tears comes out..and there you go I started to cry like a baby looking for mommy...
here's the notes that put me in tears this morning.. It reminds me of my baby..
Before I was a Mom -
I slept as late as I wanted and never worried about how late I got into bed.
Before I was a Mom -
I cleaned my house each day. I never tripped over toys or forgot words to a lullaby. I didn't worry whether or not my plants were poisonous. I never thought about immunizations.
Before I was a Mom –
I had never been puked on ! Pooped on ! Spit on! Chewed on! or Peed on. I had complete control of my mind and My thoughts. I slept all night.
Before I was a Mom -
I never held down a screaming child so that doctors could do tests...or give shots. I never looked into teary eyes and cried. I never got gloriously happy over a simple grin. I never sat up late hours at night watching a baby sleep.
Before I was a Mom -
I never held a sleeping baby just because I didn't want to put it down. I never felt my heart break into a million pieces when I couldn't stop the hurt. I never knew that something so small could affect my life
so much. I never knew that I could love someone so much. I never knew I would love being a Mom.
Before I was a Mom -
I didn't know the feeling of having my heart outside my body. I didn't know how special it could feel to feed a hungry baby. I didn't know that bond between a mother and her child. I didn't know that something so small could make me feel so important.
Before I was a Mom -
I had never gotten up in the middle of the night every 10 minutes to make sure all was okay. I had never known The warmth, The joy, The love, The heartache, The wonderment or the satisfaction of being a Mom. I didn't know I was capable of feeling so much before I was a Mom.
yes..it still makes me cry ;'(
Im gonna start my day with Hail Mary prayer today to ease this pain I have inside ;(
