Today is the day....the end of May

tic toc tic toc...here I am reaching the end of May. What have I done? What did I achieve? I asked myself over and over again. I ex-roomate (best buddy in University) now moved in with me in my apartment. I'm glad but at the same time...I'm worry...worry that she might find out the other side of me.

As usual, I'm very productive in the middle of the night. I switched on my internet and sit in front of my laptop to surf and do my work. Everytime I sit here, I always start my surf in FB. Nothing urgent, just browsing people's updates. I don't know why...I suddenly clicked on my ex-crush profile. Well...I don't have to disclose his name..but I address him Mr.Secret. His profile's picture was a face of little baby boy. Cute...just like the father. I then look up his album...so many photos of him and his wife. He looks good..I admit that, and the wife as well. While Im browing his photo albums, I was imagining the lady was me...haha...silly me hah...Maybe the photo might looks sweeter. I killed my imagination by logged out from the websites. I shouldn't do that, it's bad ;(

Here I'm screwed up...screw up with my current status...Still Single but NEVER searching...What's wrong with me???? I wish I know the answer....I pray that God will give me a sign.


Nite labs...xoxo

Sharing is Caring ....

I would like to share an article by Mary DeMuth that touched my heart.

Will you lay down your past today? Will you trust God with the mess, the memories, the mayhem? If you do, He will take the marred pieces of your life, reassemble them, and make you fly. So you (because of Him) can shame the wise.

For consider your calling, brethren, that there were not many wise according to the flesh, not many mighty, not many noble; but God has chosen the foolish things of the world to shame the wise, and God has chosen the weak things of the world to shame the things which are strong, and the base things of the world and the despised God has chosen, the things that are not, so that He may nullify the things that are, so that no man may boast before God.

1 Corinthians 1:26-29

by Mary DeMuth

I didn't know that when those older boys pinned five-year-old me to the earth, my backside poked by brambles, that someday God would choose that frightened little girl, sexually abused for a year, to shame the wise. But He chose a shattered me.

I didn't know that as my childhood home filled with drugs and unsafe parties, God would rescue weak and scared me. But, eventually, He salved my fears.

I didn't know that as I ran from other predators, the boys' marks on me like a beacon, I'd someday limp into the arms of a Savior. I felt debased, unworthy, ugly, dirty, ruined. But He welcomed me.

I didn't know that as my earthly father slipped from this earth, my Heavenly Father stood nearby, open armed. Though my earthly father's death left me fatherless, my Heavenly Father didn't orphan me. He grafted me into His family.

I didn't know that as I considered different ways to kill myself in junior high, as I faced a third parental divorce, that Jesus' own beautiful death provided a way of new life for me. He rescued me from taking my life.

I was all the things the apostle Paul wrote about in today's key verse, and then some. Neglected, needy, pained, lost, small, frightened. And yet God took those negatives and beautified them with Himself. That's the great paradox God brings to all of us, no matter how "easy" or hard our upbringing. It's not that we're strong and sufficient and wise, it's that He is.

Perhaps you've looked back on your past and shuddered. Perhaps you've questioned God about why He'd allow atrocities in your life. But consider this: God gets the most glory in the life fully surrendered to Him, and it's hard for a self-sufficient person to submit. He does the most work in our helplessness. (See 2 Corinthians 12: 9, 10).

Our weakness and frailty are not merely places of desolation; they are dance floors—holy places where the God of the universe is allowed to freely move in our lives. Our own lack allows for and welcomes this sacred dance where God's talent outshines our capabilities, where only He receives the glory.

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Reflections:

Look back on your life. When have you felt closest to God? The most distant? What were your circumstances at each time?

In what ways are you afraid to surrender your past to God?

How can you choose today to believe the truth that God's strength is stronger where you're weak?